This wacky wet site is meant for educational or recreational use only. Approved for veterans and vegetarians. Suitable for adults and children only. Not suitable for religious fanatics. May be too intense for some viewers. Edited for Internet. Sanitised for your protection. Prerecorded for this time zone.

All models under 80 years of age. All actors in these photographs are portrayed by real people. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is not coincidental. All swimmers are fully clothed. Not tested on animals.

Objects on screen may be closer than they appear. Simulated picture. Contents may settle during shipment. No user serviceable parts inside. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Some equipment shown is optional. Batteries not included. Some assembly required.

At participating locations only. Void where prohibited. This is not an offer to sell securities. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not disturb. Trespassers will be soaked, survivors will be soaked again.

Slippery when wet. Slightly wetter east of the Mississippi. Times approximate. Baths for two or more. One size fits all. Colours may fade. Shading within a garment may occur.

Use only in a well ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Keep cool, process promptly. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale.

Use only as directed. Apply only to affected area. Avoid contact with skin. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before pumping. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Your mileage may vary. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. If condition persists, consult your physician. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Not the Beatles. No solicitors.

Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. Employees and their families are not eligible. You must be present to win. No purchase necessary.

Some of the trademarks mentioned in this publication appear for identification purposes only. This disclaimer supersedes all previous notices. Subject to change without notice. Applicable to US citizens only.